


Step. And Fall

by IchiiNiiSan



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Depressed Gavin Reed, Feel free to punch me in the face I'm ready, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, M/M, PART 2 IS OUT MY DUDES, Save Gavin Reed 2k18 ya'll, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-11 01:21:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15961664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IchiiNiiSan/pseuds/IchiiNiiSan
Summary: He's just so tired.He just wants to be free.(PLEASE READ THE NOTES AND TAGS)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all let me say this  
> This has attempted suicide/suicide  
> Please turn back if you're triggered by it, I don't want any of you guys be triggered
> 
> I don't also want to offend any of those who feel suicidal, suicide is a serious matter. This is just something I thought of (because of a fanart, a friend helping me with how the story will flow) so if there's something I need to know regarding the matter I'll gladly listen out.
> 
> English isn't my first language so if there's anything wrong with the grammar or usage of words please do tell me

It all started a few weeks ago. Gavin Reed wasn't the most mentally healthy person around the precinct but he usually managed around. But at that moment he could feel his facade is breaking, after a long period of wearing it every single day.

His partner was not helping him at any way. Nines is what he could call a fucking problem, and by the 4 months they were partners there was always criticism from the android to him.

How he's slow when pursuing a suspect. How he's always jumping in the line of fire despite how many times Nines told him to stay hidden. How he should stop his caffeine streak. How he's just so abrasive and speaks with his fists rather than his mind.

Though outside it would see as if he's his normal asshole self, throwing insults and curses in every direction at every living being, inside it was affecting him. He was only doing his job as to how he's used to.  
It became overwhelming to the point of insomnia, to the point of depression, to the point of being extra agitated. Pressure can do so much to one person.

_He doesn't know anymore._

So he's standing on the rooftop, looking down at the busy streets on a cold december evening, leaning against the wired barricade for people like him, separating him and the safe ground. He's just got back from work, after closing a case, fed his cat Ashka and immediately went out in his socks.

It seemed the right time to finally free himself.

"Detective."

The said male turned around, seeing his partner standing at the doorway of the rooftop, looking as he is the last time he saw him, prim and perfect.

"The fuck do you want _tincan_?" Growled Gavin, tired eyes staring daggers at Nines.

He just want it to end already, he's tired, tired of being alive, tired of being judged, tired of being wrongly named, tired of hoping that everything will be okay.

Tired of _hoping_.

Nines has noticed the change of attitude with his detective the moment he went in that day. More agitated, more down, less shine in his eyes.

He hoped to find answers at this moment to ease his investigative system but the stance Gavin is was rather worrying, something planned, something regrettable.

**\--ERROR--**

"Please come down, Detective," said the RK900, voice surprisingly soft rather than the usual blank tone he is used to, "it's not safe for you to be there."

Gavin scoffed, "what if I wanted to be here."

A software instability error appeared in Nines' HUD, immediately got patched, as he heard Gavin's defeated voice. If the detective were to fall in this height, a 10 floored apartment complex, there would be 13% chance that Gavin would survive.

~~**[That's too low]** ~~

**\--ERROR--**

"Detective, please," urged Nines, taking a step forward to where Gavin is, "get down from there."

Gavin scoffed yet again, avoiding Nines' gaze as cold wind nipped the exposed skin of their faces.

Why would he care? He's just a machine whose only objective is to finish his mission, not even a deviant. If he were to throw himself over the ledge Nines will just be reassigned to another officer and nothing will change.

Nobody will care.

"... Give me one good reason to."

Nines stared at the other, already calculating what reasons is deemed acceptable enough for Gavin, already pre-constructing scenarios that has a higher rate of success.

**[You'll die] 10%**  
**[The force needs you] 16%**  
**[I won't be able to finish my mission] 33%**  
~~**[I need you] ??%** ~~

**\--ERROR--**

"I can't do my mission without you," is what came out of the RK900.

That sent a jolt of pain through Gavin's battered and scarred heart, the feelings he hid for his android partner resurfacing and making him more agitated than sad.

"Is that all you care about...?" Gavin mumbled, laced with anger, hands shaking in agitation and his gaze at his socked feet, "you goddamn 'droids and your missions! All you care is your mission! You fucking machine!"

~~**[You're part of my mission too]** ~~

**\--ERROR--**

Nines was taken aback by the detective's outburst, another software instability appeared and patched.

"Detective..." Nines took another step closer, and another, and another.

Almost near to Gavin.

"Don't come closer! That's a _fucking_ order!"

The command registered and Nines stopped a few feet away from the detective.

"You don't care about me, you just care about your goddamn mission! Don't give me that facade!"

~~**[No! I care for you Gavin!]** ~~

**\--ERROR--**

Gavin let out a defeated sigh, then a laugh, a sad smile on his lips as he rubbed his face. He's so done, he doesn't care anymore.

"Don't worry, you'll get to finish your fucking mission. You'll get reassigned and all will be normal."

The detective's breath hitched, Nines noticed.

"God. Damned. Normal." Gavin spat out the words with venom.

~~**[I don't want anyone else, it won't be the same.]** ~~

**\--ERROR--**

Another software instability. Another patch.

Tears began to roll down Gavin's cheeks, he's so. Fucking. Done. He has imagined death so much it feels more like a memory, he imagined being shot in a shootout, killed while saving someone, shooting himself in the head, overdose. So many failed attempts, hopefully this one is a successful one.

"Don't try to lie and make me feel better," Gavin stared up and the sight made Nines' thirium pump malfunction.

Nines saw a man who has given up, tired and dead eyes staring at him sadly, tears running down his cheeks as a small, sad smile in his pale lips.

~~**[That sad smile doesn't fit him]** ~~

**\--ERROR--**

"My mind is made up. I'm sorry, _Nines_."

That's the first time Gavin ever said Nines' name.

~~**[I'm sorry]** ~~

**\--ERROR--**

~~**[Please don't do this]** ~~

**\--ERROR--**

~~**[Gavin I'm so sorry!]** ~~

**\--ERROR--**

~~**[Don't leave me alone!]** ~~

**\--ERROR--**

Gavin doesn't know if it's because of his numb mind or his still hoping heart, but he doesn't mind going out this way, leaving and the last face he would ever see is Nines, his infuriating partner of 4 months, the one who was there when he had attacks, the one who took bullets for him.

The source of his unrequited love.

He took a step back, towards the ledge.

Nines twitched, wanting to move, wanting to save Gavin, wanting to held him in his arms and keep him safe, anything than seeing him so _broken_ and _sad_.

~~**[I want to be by Gavin's side]** ~~

**\--ERROR--**

More software instabilities appeared but Nines didn't care, twitching more to move as Gavin creep closer to the edge.

**[DON'T MOVE]**

A step closer.

**[D O N'T M OV E]**

A red wall appeared in front of Nines, filled with the commands 'DON'T MOVE' and 'ACCOMPLISH MISSION'.

~~**[I HAVE to _MOVE_ ]** ~~  
**\--ERROR--**

Another step forward. One more step and he's free.

~~**[I have to save Gavin!]** ~~

**\--ERROR--**

Nines banged his hands to the wall with all his might.

~~**[I have to move and get Gavin]** ~~

**\--ERROR--**

Another bang then a swift kick. Crack!

~~**[Gavin]** ~~

**\--ERROR--**

The crack expanded. Nines is relentless. He's running out of time, running out of time, he have to save Gavin.

**\--ERROR--**

**\--ERROR--**

**\--ERROR--**

**~~[Gavin'sSafetyGavin'sHappinessGavin'sJoyGavinGavinGavinGavinGavinGavinGavinGavinGavinGavinGavin~~ _IwanttobebyGavin'sside_** ]

A step. And fall.

Then blank.

_"GAVIN!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A fun fact amidst this angst I unleashed is:  
> Ashka is just a nickname  
> Gavin's cat's full name is Trashcan


	2. A Fall Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cold, then warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll asked, I delivered  
> I hope I gave it justice—  
> Enjoy~

Cold, then warmth.

That's what Gavin felt as he closed his eyes and waits for Death's cold arms to encircle around him. He waits for the cold cement making contact with his head, back, body, to end his misery already.

But the feeling never came.

Instead he felt warmth. A comforting warmth around his wrist, preventing him from falling further.

"Don't you fucking _dare_ give up!"

The detective looked up and saw Nines. Nines who's clinging on to the broken barricade so they won't fall down to their deaths, Nines who was holding on to his wrist with bloodied knuckles.

"If you think no one would care then you're fucking wrong Gavin!" Yelled Nines, already in the process of pulling up the detective, "it's not going to be the same once you are gone!"

_I love you, Gavin, don't leave me alone!_

Tears. There's tears again in Gavin's eyes, but there's also rain.

... Rain?

No. It was Nines. The machine that Gavin knew is not a deviant is showing emotion, crying, crying for him.

Crying because he saved Gavin.

"... Nines..."

Once the detective is back at the rooftop, in the more safer grounds, the RK900 engulfed the other to a tight hug, as if scared that if he clings to the other loosely he'll lose him permanently, hiding Gavin's face in his shoulder, hiding Gavin from the world.

Gavin too shocked to hug back, mind whirling. Nines became a deviant because of him, because of his stupid move, because he couldn't take it anymore, because he's so stupid.

"... You didn't have to..." Gavin mumbled, head down in shame, forehead touching Nines' shoulder, "... y-you..."

"You are very important to me Gavin," interrupted Nines, voice softly murmuring in his ear, soft and genuine, combing his hand through Gavin's wind-messed hair gently, comfortingly, "I'm sorry for what I said when I was still a machine. You were right, as a machine I was mission driven, but I've always made you first priority, because I care for you, you're important to me."

With every sentence the android whisper into his ear he felt wetness in his hair, Gavin stunned to silence as he felt more tears run down his own cheeks.

"I love you," the RK900 whispered, barely audible.

That broke Gavin.

_I love you._

_I **love** you._

**_I love you._ **

Nines said I love you. _To him._

His crush is reciprocated.

And he fucking tried to just end it already.

Gavin can't think, imagine, _think_. His mind is silent for once. Silence, just feeling.

_Feeling_.

"I-I'm sorry," choked out Gavin, breath hitching.

Nines held Gavin tighter, hands still combing through Gavin's brown hair, still comforting, still relieved.

"I-I'm sorry," Gavin's arms went to wrap themselves to Nines, gripping at the black and white suit uniform tightly, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

_I love you too._

The RK900 said nothing, letting his detective cry on his shoulders, apologizing for thinking to jump, apologizing to him, when in all honesty it was Nines who should apologize.

"I'm sorry too," interrupted Nines, pulling away just enough for him to see Gavin's tear streaked face, cradling his cheeks and rubbing off the detective's tears with his thumb, "I'm sorry."

Everything is going to be okay.

Because Nines will never leave Gavin's side, he never did anyways. Nines will make sure Gavin will be okay, alright, even if it'll take long.

Because Nines will love Gavin no matter what, no matter how broken he is, no matter how rude he is, no matter how many times he was pushed away.

Nines smiles softly at Gavin, and through the now-silent mind of Gavin, he thinks it fits the android.

"Let's go home."

_Home_.

Gavin likes the sound of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys this fic could ended in 3 ways:  
> -Gavin is saved  
> -Gavin dies  
> -Gavin is in a coma
> 
> But I didn't want to let you guys suffer anymore so I picked he lives 
> 
> BUT I have plans for those other two options so if you guys are interested tell me!
> 
> Also I have twitter now! So if you guys want to bother me/request (cuz I really have little to no fic ideas)/talk with me please feel free to do so! @IchiiNiiSan

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated!
> 
> Twitter: @IchiiNiiSan


End file.
